Shell

I told him I am like a snail

Slow-moving and with a hard shell

That keeps me from withering 

At any sign of harm

He said he disagrees;

I am not a snail but an oyster

That underneath my shell is a perfect pearl

And I would never need to move

For he would always find me.

I wonder if you'll really wait
Wait for me, my darling
One day I'll give you everything.

Dear P.,

It is the single comfort of my soul

That no matter how far I’ve strayed from the path I’ve wanted for myself

How lost I have and will become

How misguided I am and how disappointed I am in myself constantly 

Only in the end will I see you again

And every struggle, every fear, heartbreak and bruise

Will have been worth it.

Because I know you will be smiling when I see you again,

When I see you again.

And it is in this journey I have learned that

The pain of loss inspires hope of retrieval

And gives me a reason to find you 

Because even when I feel I’ve lost myself completely

You've got the part of me that keeps me going

Always alive, always searching for you.

I miss you, I miss you.

- C.

Sunday afternoons remind me of you
The still spickle solid air and background noise
And perfect mid-June hues through windows.
I breathe it in and you're still around
While your smile's framed on walls
On my piano, on desks and in minds,
Everything else is just furniture.
I keep you close through a whistle
When mother used to sing in the mornings
I keep you close through my vintage heart
That used to be spoiled by your gifts,
Though our routine was never predictable
Your smile was newer everyday.
Everything else is just a reproduction.
We were alive, you and I,
And I will not forget
You're just smiling on the other side
Of my afternoon sky.

Something about midnight drives
The look in your eyes
With you I could go on for miles.
Enamored of this-
Your friendship I hold dearest,
I wish you knew all the years
I would have rather spent with you.

Rapture

Soft-bodied creatures
All over my bed
Watch them watch me
Corrupt my own head
Eyes can't look away
From this image of sin
While I stand and search
For a way out (a way in).

Tiny Moments

Some days all I want to do's
Fall asleep on your shoulder
Feel all your hinges tighten
Careful not to rouse me
But why would I wake when I could hold this tiny moment
Suspended,
Ensconced in your warmth?
And if my eyes must flutter open,
They do so only to permit another tiny moment
Of looking closely into your eyes.
They pull me far deeper into a dream
Than any kind of slumber.

Making love with a lie

If my lips could move as fast as my mind
You would know I'm running out of words
To tell myself I might still believe you.
Oh, my spurious joy,
My beautiful enigma,
I don't think I'll stand to see you
For you are tethered
In places I could never go again.